Saturday Night I went to a early 4th of July Party at a Good Friends Dads House. There were around 20 + people there, mostly kids in there 20s. Every one was having a good time, the kids were setting off fire works and laughing playing corn hole, there was music and even a huge Bon Fire...Several People had left, it was sometime after midnight and I was outside the barn smoking a cigarette. Next thing I know there is a woman screaming waving a SHOT GUN around  yelling something

about how the fire works were scaring her horse. I thought oh HELL NO... You are not going to make it past me with that shot gun... As we approached each other she was obviously very angry and had no business with a SHOT GUN screaming at a bunch of kids, that she needed to calm down and give me the SHOT GUN....She become offensive because I wouldn't let her past me, I grabbed for her gun and her other arm to keep the gun in my control, but she was scaring me so, I broke let her go and bu then one of my friends seen what was happening, and they took her gun... It was loaded one int the barrel ready to go. After the Gun was taken from her everyone was kinda running around, scared confused wondering what was going on... She Was more historical then ever now wanting her GUN bake that I had to try to restrain her. I learned she was the property owners renter, so I tried to get her to go with me to talk to him. I finally let her Go and I ran to the main house to get the owner... As we were approaching the barn, all I could here was screaming and i seen some movement, I began to run towards them and when I seen her i tackled her down to the ground, and was pulled off of her, I just wanted her to shut up. She had no business with that gun. My face hurt from the struggle with her gun, she wacked me in the right eye, gave me a shiner...so i just threw her down to bring the situation into control... and it did... she locked herself in her house we called the police she was arrested... Good...

The Most beautiful gifts in the WORLD are the ones that keep giving.... This is my oldest son with my NEW GRANDSON Jacob.... Welcome to the world little guy. What a surprise you are for our family...What a blessing you are...I am so In Love With You I want to just hold you for hours and look at how BEAUTIFUL you are....Thank You Zane and Sarah.... He is PERFECT...

LEAVE BOTH MY FLAGS ALONE...

Society cannot be held responsible for any one thing some idiot crazy confused fucked up individual does. I wont give up either flag for something someone else did. WTF is wrong with people. It is bad enough people are dying because of crazy people but the social media and government makes it a big racial deal. I am sick sick sick of it................... 

        Thank you everyone for reading my stuff. means a lot. Have a great night, rest well...

I am finding that as I rewrite and edit chapters in my book I am being forced to deal with Skeletons in closets I have locked away for good reason. I have relived moments in time in my life that once I thought would be my demise that i survived and rose above already, I cant let it cause me pain again. So I have decided to finally empty the closets and one at a time once and for all, let them free and only let it be a fainted memory that no longer lives trapped inside. I feel weights being lifted off my shoulders as I sift through these moments that have weighted me down for sooo long. Not only am a writing a great book that I hope helps people and touches there hearts, but I am freeing myself ...

I had just had exploratory surgery and i was in a lot of pain. It was nearly impossibly to get off the couch let alone take care of three kids cook and clean. When my husband came home from work, first word out of his mouth was see you laid on your ass all day. Well yeah i just had surgery, he said hospital didn't think u needed to stay there so there isn't anything wrong with you, get off your ass and clean this house make me dinner too. Well being in more pain then I could handle already I told him to fuck off and do it himself. Wrong choice of words, he came from the hallway and jerked me off the couch onto the floor and the surge of pain that moved through my body made me lose my breathe. get up bitch, your half way there he said. I couldn't get up i just couldn't I was crying, at this point the children were now watching. When I saw them I was instantly able to get off the floor and hide the fact i was pulled down there purposely and in pain. He had his cooler packed and walked out the door..i took everything i had to get myself up off that floor, but I did. I gathered up the kids, grabbed the baby and loaded them in the car a long with some stuff we needed, i did all of this outta pure adrenaline because i don't remember hurting anymore. I left as quickly as i could before he seen me. I knew if we stayed that if he was that big of a dick just getting home from work , a few beers would make him a monster. We arrived at my Mothers house, just 5 minutes away she about flipped and new something was wrong when i pulled in the drive and just sat there. The adrenaline wore off and i was beginning to feel everything once again. My Mother helped unload everything, she knew i wasn't even aloud to pick up my baby let alone all i had just done. I forgot my pain meds so after mom had the kids settled in i returned home to grab a few other things. When i walked in the house BAM.... there he was i knew this was not going to be good. He knocked me onto the couch, asking if i thought I could just up and go whenever and not tell him, At this point i am nestled in the very crevice of the couch in a ball and just as he raised his arm to hit me, my mother appeared at the door, Dont you hit her you son of a bitch, he turned to her and said bitch get out of my house this is my business, mom said that's my business, he shoved her out the door, she bucked right back up at him, and i knew he was going to knock the shit outta her, so i painfully erected myself and ran to her to take the blow myself. He told us both to leave then, we deserved each other, i grabbed my things and we did leave. I spent the next 4 days on the couch not able to move at all, the grace of God saved me that day, because i could have bleed internally from all the force my body took hitting that floor then picking my kids up... I lived yet another day...

I have many places that i like to go when I  write. Today I chose BAB..For those of you  that do not know what BAB stands for... Bare Ass Beach... Also know as AKA...Grosse Jean Park. This place is so old my Mother used to come here when she was growing up. U can only reach this place buy walking into a wooded area on many of the paths that have been made over the years...They all lead to the same place, The Applecreek, which begins down below Apple Creek, Ohio, through the country side into South East Wooster, Ohio, which is where BAB, is, then goes on too empty into the Kilbuck River on the South Side Of Wooster, Kilbuck goes, on on on...
Ill try to depict what I am seein to you right now. In front of me is the creek, right now the water is high so its moving more rapidly then normal. We have had a lot of rain and this area was flooded just two days ago you couldnt even get into the water or any of my sitting spots. There are a variety of different birds singing in the trees that stand tall and give the perfect amount of shade, to just sit and relax. There are wild flowers in patches here and there and  bushes with berries, not the kind you eat. I am sitting up against a hill like a chair with my laptop on my lap. Serveral paople with a couple children came past and they all had smiles on there faces. They were all drenched with sand stuck to there arms legs and cloths. Here comes a family body floating down the water. There little gitrl is refusing to leave the water, but they are ready to go, lol that sure brings back memories. One time just after it had been raining all morning, the sun came out and was shining bright and it was hot. I decided to take my son and one of his friends down here to hang out a little while and splash around a bit. When we got there the water was deep in some areas and in the deeper areas there was a good current. we round a spot that was shallow enough they could play, and I gave them there areas to stay in. Well being children they went a bit to far and the current pulled them both under, I couldnt run fast enough my heart was beating a mile a minute litterraly out of y chest. Just as I hit the water here they come, both of them right up out of the water onto the sand, like the current just spit them out. When i reached them my son was catching his breath and and panting, his friend was in shock crying yelling Mommy he was breathing hard but he didnt move, i knealt down to him and took him up into my arms and carried him and walked my so to our towels. I grabbed his towel and i sat down and wrapped him good and snug and rubbed his hair and rocked him,.. Few weeks before this, his mother had passed away, so I was absolutly heart broken, his mother was a very very good friend, she had died of from an overdose.  After he calmed down he was able to speak he said i saw my mom, i looked at him and i said you did, he said yes she was in the water, she helped us get up. I had to hold my breathe and tuck him back into a hug as i could not hold back the tears. My son was sitting next to us and his eyes began to overflow with tears and spill down his cheeks, so i grabbed him up and we sat there cryiing and holding eachother. Kyle pats his friend on the back and said its alright, you have my Mom now.
I will never ever forget that. Uhhh I am crying right now...

When tragedy rears its ugly head in your life it can take a lifetime to crawl out from the pain despair and confusion. 4 years ago marked the first tragedy that baffles me still to this very moment. I will never understand and possibly never know the truth of what really happen. Not knowing the cause of something so heart retching is torture at times. I had to give it to God, let it go and pray for justice and peace. This is one chapter in my book that may never have an ending. I may never even get to publish it being an on going case. My publisher will handle that because I have no clues even where to begin to find out. And I am not talking to anymore detectives. When i know more I will post the entire story. I think it should get some fresh new eyes and attention. I dont understand how no one got charged, so much i dont understand...I am working on this chapter today and it is just frustrating I cannot tell the world about what happen the victim in this was just a baby.... she deserves justice... One day I will have my day... ONE DAY!!!

One day in the 8th grade at Edgewood Jr. High School, I was in Drama Class and the Principals Asst.  came into the class and asked i be excused I was like uh oh what did I do. We left the classroom an began walking down the hall to the office. We didn't speak to each other so I was beginning to get butterflies in my stomach wondering what the hell did I do. I started pondering all these things ive done wondering what i was being busted for. We reached the office and I seen my Mom. My heart instantly dropped to my feet, the look in her face told me something bad had happen. She stood up as we entered the room she was in and the secretary said take as long as you need and shut the door behind her on her way out. Mom whats going on? Sit down Stef, there has been a fire at the house and I need you to come home. I asked what had happened HOW??? She said, that her and her friend Bonnie were sitting downstairs in the dining room and smelled smoke. As the smoke smell got stronger they began walking around to find the source. Once upstairs they realized that your bedroom was engulfed in flames the door was to hot to even touch. My Mother gasped for breathe grabbing Bonnies arm realizing my baby Brother was no where to be found in all the commotion so they began to look for him. By the time the fire dept. had gotten there she was frantic looking everywhere fearing the worst that he was in that room.... By this time there are cops every where and fire trucks and half of Wooster High School Students and staff were standing outside watching. My Brother Aaron and our friend Paul were sitting in the library and Paul looked out the window and said Aaron your house in on fire, so he ran home and my Sister was heading there too.

Finish this story any way you like...

But youll have to buy my book to see how it really turns out...

One year on Halloween, I was hanging out in the swamps with some really great friends. We had a fire going and lots of beverages. As evening fell upon us my friend Chris sais... Wouldnt it be funny to stand on the other side of this road, wait for a car to come then start to drag Stefanie accross the street by her hair into the woods. Chris was 6ft5in tall and very hairy. He had curly hair that went just past his shoulders. We had all dressed up so he had on a pair of bibbed overalls and a plaid button up. I was a Princess Zombie so i had on a long gown that had been torn up and dirtied. I had blood on my face and my hair was teased to look messy. We planned this all out ya know, we stood waiting for a car. The first car was coming so i assumed position on the ground and Chris grabbed me up by my hair. The car reached a safe enough distance where they would see it but we had plenty of time to take off if need be. So he starts dragging me accross the street, by my hair, i held onto his arms to keep him from pulling lol to hard, i kept my body off the ground by kinda running crab style behind him...The car began to speed up, we made it to the other side of the road and down a hill then hid there. The car came to a stop and you could here the people talking. " what the hell was that" then I let out a few screams and our friend Greg Roared out. That car took off so fast, leaving smoke from its tires, and as they sped off, two of my other buddies, who were dressed like crazy people in straight jackets, took off running after them... it was great we had success. Just as we stopped laughing and regrouped another car was approaching. We assumed positions, and as the car hit a safe distance Chris again began to drag me accross the road, this time he paused for a moment and looked straight toward the car. The car sped up and the next thing you know there was red and blue lights.. UH-OH. Shit we all scattered, I got off the road and hid in a ditch lol, No clues at that point were anyone else was. The Police car approached slowly just above me with his spot light shining brightly through the woods. I could here his door open, then close, you could hear his footsteps coming closer closer, then a beam of light from a flashlight shined just over my head,. I covered my head and kept sating, please dont see me, please dont see me. After a few minutes he walked away. Another car was approaching and i saw it was another police car, I didnt know what to do I was like shit. I started to look around for an escape route, when I spotted a Greg and Missy behind a tiny hill just above me. I looked to see what the cops were doing. They were turned the other way talking, so i quietly slipped ip the hill to be with them. We sat there talking about what to do and laughing yet worried a little bit, lol  We sat there watching these two cops stand there waiting for there next move. In the distance coming up the road from the other direction was more red and blue lights, not just one car but a row 6 long. Oh FUCK... SHIT... what now we looked at each other and realized we had to get the hell out of there they think that was real and they are going to search for this woman being dragged by her hair....

Finish this story however you want... But the only way to find out what happen is to read my book...

                                      

                                                          Good Morning everyone.

When he loaded up his cooler with beer and shoved a bottle of cheap gin in there too I knew I was getting my ass beat that night. I hated those days. Started out I wouldn't worry until I knew he was drinking liquor too, but over time I began to worry all day if tonight would be the night. He would take his stupid cooler and go trailer to trailer, we lived in a red neck trailor park in nc , the men got off work and began drinking, by night fall there were drunks fighting and staggering home. One time I went to bed around 1030 because he already started his shit. I fell asleep, next thing i know im laying on the floor up against my dresser. I couldn't move I couldn't breathe it hurt so bad, i was very confused, i was completely into 3 hrs of sleep. he didn't say a word only laid down and was snoring before i could even get up, i was crying but kept it quiet i didn't want to wake him. I think hitting the dresser right with my back on the corner had knocked the breathe out of me, and by now i could feel my head and neck hurting then my arm and both ankles. i managed to crawl into the doorway into the hallway into the bathroom, turned on the light and noticed blood on my arm and pajamas. I laid there after shutting and locking the door, the only light was a small night light . I managed to turn on the light and stand up, i looked in the mirror and seen the blood trickling down my face from the huge knot just above my left eye in my hairline, i also noticed rug burn on my arm and shoulder. I just began to shake so badly and i wanted to cry out so loudly. I cleaned myself up and went to lay on the couch. In the morning when he got up for work he came directly to me i knew he was up i heard him but acted like i was asleep. He sais why are you on the couch, i said why mother fucker, and painfully raised from the couch, he looked at me in disbelieve what the hell happen to you. I said i fell, in my sleep fast and hard against the dresser and wall. he called me a klutz and left for work.Then I cried... 

When I was addicted to pain medication it was a really difficult time for me. I struggled for nearly 16 years on and off, more on. Each time i would make myself quit cold turkey and withdraw was intense. I nearly died three times because i didn't go to the hospital but twice for the withdrawal symptoms. The last time I used anything was back in July of 2014. i abused morphine taking 100-120mlgs a day. By October it was killing me and I decided to quit again...This time my sister flew into Dallas to come talk to me about going to a hospital, so I did. And if i had not I would have dies in my sleep. I woke up the next morning to a man sitting on the foot of my bed, he patted my leg and said you made it you did it, I knew you could do it. When they admitted me into the hospital I had barely no blood pressure and they were not able to start an iv or draw blood, so if i was not able to keep the meds down so i could hydrate i would have had to have a surgery to insert a pic line in my chest.This man was My Doctor. He is one of the Top Opiot Dependent Physicians in the country, and he saved my life. I stayed in the hospital for three days then was released. The next month was a struggle, i could barely move i had no energy and everything hurt. I met with my doctor once a week and he taught me so much about myself and my addiction. I am so grateful that i had the honor to be seen by such an amazing doctor. He helped me realize what the drugs were doing to my insides and how i had been very lucky to not have any damage, the next time it will kill me. I believe that and I am clean still to this day. I smoke pot but to me its better then killing myself getting addicted to pills again because i cant take it.
I want you to all know that you are not alone in your struggles. I am not a professional with degrees but I AM AN EXPERT WITH EXPERIENCE  and to me, thats someone who gets it. Anytime anyone needs some advice about them selves or someone they love and know i am here i am honest and i will keep it between us.

Did you know that an Eagle will soar above the storms to avoid them. I want to be an Eagle so that I can escape the storms and SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY....

Good Morning everyone...We all survived the night and woke up to another beautiful day another chance...Be THANKFUL and QUIT COMPLAINING about stupid stuff and read the shit others have going on in there lives and realize that, there is always someone that has it worse then you do.FOCUS more of your Bitching on loving each other and reach out to your family and friends who do have it worse and lift there spirits with love and support. Be POSITIVE people...be GRATEFUL and spread the love...Take a minute and forget your troubles and listen to someone else's and comfort them. This turns your own negativity into POSITIVITY and that causes a ripple effect and you will see changes in your own life in your own attitudes, and slowly turn it around. I see this in my own life. It works, I am telling ya. It is my anser to happiness. Maybe even the KEY...to living in PEACE...I've had and created enough negativity in my life to last a life time. So I have to stay POSITIVE or it will suck me back in.....

Beautiful Sunset Tonight...

I miss my Dad. Sometimes I wonder what he would be like today. Normally this day his birthday and the anniversary of his suicide slip by UN noticed until after.but I choose not to do that anymore sometimes making it through the pain can make u stronger then hiding inside it.

please just let me go...i dont want to be here anymore...i need to be free, my spirit is saddened and i dont want to fit in any one place anymore, i want to fit in everyplace. i want to journey along the coast lines and from one side to the other discover hidden beauty abandoned haunted places and paranormal hot spots and find treasures and meet new people. I want to know that i have left my imprint in places no one else has. my dreams r torturing me becoming desires that i yearn for. to leave this life of order and responsibility rules and government... to drive and drive with no destinations planned just freedom, no expectations no obligations just me and nature,  sure who wouldn't want that... ive been told that's not reality Stefanie, u have to work u have to pay bills etc... u have to.... no i do not have to, no i am not going to. I refuse that life i cant do it anymore. I cant and i wont and you will see I will be FREE...

Enigma - Return To Innocence

Let the WORLD see your inner beauty...

Let them know what it is that makes you attract them...

Let them see the influence you have in this world...

Open up the clouds above you...

And let the sun shine upon them all...

There is a sadness looming in the air that has tipped the negativity charts in its favor. I know saddness is a very hard feeling to overcome. I have had much of it in my life and I refuse to keep allowing it to take hold of me and drag me down. I take this moment to do my part in being POSITIVE to tipp the scales back in my favor... If I cause a ripple effect of positive energy who knows maybe the sun will shine and its rays will warm us all and give you hope. Hope that whatever you are sad about will get better, It always gets better, just rising above it can be hard... Smile please think of something wonderful that you love and happy things that take you there. Be at peace...breathe... and know that there is always someone that has it worse. I lost my Father, but Jane over here, she lost her entire family, ya know etc...

One LONG LONG day when I was in Kindergarten. My brother decides to hang on to the back of my Dads jeep one morning as he was leaving and he fell off. Mom and Dad spent most the day in the ER with him and just returned home. I asked to go Play with Marcy, Mom said look both ways. Well I got hit by a car...Back to the ER....

One time my Brother and I were out riding our bicycles and there was a man at the corner of the sidewalk and the mall parking lot. He called to my brother and I to help him, so we did. He asked if we would return his cart for him for a dollar, money signs in our eyes we are all on it, sure we said. He said no need for both of you to do it and told my brother to leave his bike with me so we didn't have to worry they would get stolen unattended. So Aaron began his stroll across the mall parking lot to return this cart, and this pervert asks me if i want candy. My instincts told me to yell out no and run, but i didn't want my brothers bike to be stole. so I told the guy yes i did want candy and he asked me to come along to his car, so i picked up my brothers bike and i took off home as quickly as my little skinny legs could peddle and told my mother... She flips out because there was just a kidnapping recently same place, we were not aloud to cross the street but we did. My brother is still missing, so the entire neighborhood with in like a minute was running up the street with baseball bats, tire irons, and furry.

When I was young, we lived in Mesa, Arizona. My Grandparents, may they rest in peace, lived in a trailer park. There was a canal that ran along side the whole park and I used to go there to play. I would play for hours with my pink pig, purple horse, green giraffe, and yellow monkeys. Then I would go home and tell tales of the things we would do and the stuff that happen. I wonder if this is when my imagination began to develop into what is now very extensive, lol.Pam Simpson Bush.

It's New Years Eve... My Mother let us have a PARTY...We spent all day cleaning the house, Mom had a Pork Roast on with Sour Kraut, which by the way is very stinky, and we had all the fixins to go with prepared for a feast at midnight...Imagine all of your good good friends bringing in the New Year together... Everyone getting there Plates and finding a spot to begin devouring this delicious meal, we had put all day into preparing... Then one by one everyone starts spitting out nuts and bolts and bringing them to my Mother, like what the heck Pam Simpson Bush, Evidently while cleaning earlier I thought outta sight outta mind right... Haha

Me freeing a sheep tangled in electrical fencing

This is how my book begins... All of these posts are rough drafts wait till u read the final copy...

In the beginning Dwight Earl Simpson and Jean Elaine Lahm Simpson, Begat Pamela Jill Simpson and Harry Bush and Florence Metz Bush,  Begat Larry William Bush who married Pamela and they Begat me....STEFANIE BUSH...
This is a story about my life and the places I grew up and hold dear to my heart.
Sit down relax and prepare to laugh, cry, and be amazed. For the next year I will be posting bits and pieces of my tales and leave the ending open so you my followers can finish it yourself.
But to find out the real way they end you will have to read my book...Lets see how well some of you know me and how close you can come to what really happened in the end...

This is where I draw the line. I sat there listening to him cut her down and call her names long enough. I couldn't believe this man was treating this woman so terribly and no one said anything. I stood up and I yelled...I've had just about enough of your mouth. Call me a lazy bitch u fat fucker... Silence came over the room and everyone  i mean everyone even the cooks in the back came within eye shot of my mouth. Who the hell do u think u are disrespecting that poor girl in all your bitching i have not heard one word out of her mouth and you keep going on and on... enough already fuck....at this point the men in the room were standing up showing there masculinity, and i said... OH OHHH Hell No, now u stand up... you all need to sit the fuck down... please I GOT THIS... The girl i was defending stands up and says lets just go...And waves the waitress for there check... he said oh we are going before i punch this mouthy bitch.. I said oh please please do and i bucked up with in arms reach... Please as i stared him in the eye give me more of a reason to make sure you never multiply.. she sais, we have two kids, i said ohhh ohh thats just great... Looked him in the eyes and said...POOR KIDS... well that did it....

Please feel free to make up an ending to this story for me. I know how it ends, but U will have to buy my book to find that out. Trust me you will love it... 

Stefanie wake up i need to talk to you. What ... Wake up.... what... I need to tell you something about your DAD... What I replied still laying there  looking at her... Your Dad is gone Stefanie. He KILLED himself early this Morning, July 18th, 1989...

One night in mid October, we were at the campground parting with a group of friends. We were visiting with a buddy and i had to go to the bathroom, so i went outside and i found me a nice spot hidden in the shadows, pulled my pants down and squatted to pee. Mid stream i felt a warm, very obvious, tongue wipe directly over my butt-hole to my ass cheek. Startled knowing it had to be an animal of some kind i lunged forward and fell to the wet, kinda muddy ground,  this dog mounds me ok, my pants are to my knees i cannot get up i'm laughing drunk and still peeing... I crawl yelling hey hey ahhhh HELP.. haha , laughing trying to escape this dog who is now thinking this is a game i am playing with him, k.. i finally reach the cabin and pull myself up to open the door. Just as i open the door i fell into it, rather i was knocked into it, and it was opened from the inside as well, i fell forward, pants to my knees mind you, and there stands my buddy his two sons and a couple girls, to there surprise, just as much my own ya know, im like help, they are like wtf and then, oh yes that dog starts licking my ass and jumped on my butt, my pants are still down, when they realize what was happening they were like ahhh no no, and one of the boys finally took control of that dog... so there i am trying to pull my pants up, i had mud all over pee from not being able to stop my stream, all over my legs and pants, there not pulling up very well, and i look over on the couch and there sits my boyfriend, at the time laughing so hard be had gutt butt and couldn't move, i managed to pull my pants up and straighten myself out... took a deep breathe and said, that is one time i DID NOT LIKE BEING DONE DOGGY STYLE .... true story that shit happened...